beforeandafter, body, determinded, exercise, fit, fitness, happy, health, health and fitness, healthylifestyle, homeworkout, morning, motivation, runner, stress, sucess, tuesday, weight, Weightloss, workout

10 months blogging

It’s almost the end of the year, thank God, I hate the last month of the year (yes even xmas) & I hate the winter season even more, the temp has drastically dropped & not even running is warming me up in the mornings, its the time of year where you just want to hibernate.

So with that being said I get why people lose focus around this time of year, so it’s extra motivation for me & my home workouts which is where it all began 10 months ago when I started my fitness blogging journey, something that has got me through the year & has been my proudest achievement, regardless of whether I’ve lost alot of weight or not because for me the most important thing when I started this was to find something new I was good at & making it my own, finding a new hobby that I loved & enjoyed & lastly something that could help me get through my dark times which it has.

When you’ve found that something do it everyday for the rest of your life!!!

As you can there’s a difference, but I ain’t trying to be skinny, I just want to be fit, healthy and happy and as long as I have fitness I’m on the right track.

exercise, fit, fitness, FOOD, foodie, goals, happy, health, health and fitness, healthylifestyle, inspiration, Life, motivation, stress, strong, weight, Weightloss, Weights, workout

My relationship with food

It’s that time of year again, the time of year I hate the most, when the clocks change, it’s dark before work and after work, alot more colder, everyone’s talking about Christmas and they even start advertising it way before Halloween has even arrived. I definitely find the summer easier for keeping fit and eating healthy as for me makes me eat less and want to train more due to the fact that your obviously going to be wearing less clothes with the heat but also because you don’t want heavy food in the summer. Winter is depressing and its so about being indoors, warm and comfort eating and I forever make this mistake every year making which makes all that hard work from losing weight and getting fit a waste but no this year, I’m proud to say that I’m still keeping fit, eating healthy and at times indulging because what is life if you can’t, if you deprive yourself you always end up giving in ten times more. So were in Novemember and I’m still going strong but on Christmas day I will be indulging, normally my cheat day normally consists of a big bag of crisps and a big bag of chocolate and that’s it, I’ll still have a healthy breakfast and dinner but on Christmas day it’s always a full day of indulging and why not. The thing that’s been alot harder for me though over the past few months hasn’t been the seasons changing but in general stress from trying to find myself and sort my life out, life is always going to be full of ups and downs and it’s remembering that every thing that happens in life is temporary, pain, stress, anxiety it doesn’t last forever and I’ve been through it over the past 3 months which I’ve bounced back from but I’ve always been one that has had a real struggle with it which has in return effected what I have eaten. Food for me is the hardest part of any weightloss journey, exercise for me is easy because you can pretty much do anything that burns calories and keeps you fit such as walking, skipping, swimming, even cleaning where as food is more difficult, okay so you can easily cut down calories but just because something is small in calories doesn’t mean it’s the same with the sugar, fat or salt and it’s three meals a day you have to think of as well as snack. Diets work for the time you comitt to it but when you come off it what do you eat? The same stuff you were eating before your diet and there you have it again, weight gain which is why I will never follow a diet again, the only time I think it’s acceptable is if you have Like 2 weeks to get into an outfit and you accept that it’s a short term solution for fast results.

My diet right now is literally whatever I want but in moderation and of course healthy for instance yesterday my breakfast was porridge, lunch was a soup with fruit and dinner was pasta, cheese and tuna, I washed it down with prosecco because it was Friday and it was needed after a long day in the office. Tonight I’m going to being having some pop corn in front of a movie with a bit of chocolate because I can because I have worked my ass off all week, so I’m fine when it comes to eating healthy and treating myself once in a while but my depression and stress effects what I eat because I used too turn to food for comfort and many years ago when I was a teenager I had a binge eating disorder, yep there I said it, a binge eating disorder is when you eat large volumes of food until you feel sick and then become upset about it afterwards, it’s normally planned in advance where the foods are bought ready for a binge or if it’s not planned then it’s just you finding whatever you can in a rush and act of desperation picking and eating numerous items in your home to binge on and anyone that’s ever had this knows that it can be easily triggered when you go through similar situations that started it off in the first place ie; stress, insecurities etc its something I’ve dealt with my whole life, not the binge eating disorder but the depression and when I had the disorder it started from depression so I instantly link that with food, when one is sad one eats and food is an addiction, we cannot live without it and it’s always around but I have had to learn how to turn to other things during stress or hard times such as exercise, meditation, reading, walking or eating something healthier (which my fav healthy snack is hummus and carrot sticks) over the years I have realised that binging is not going to make my stress go away it’s going to make me worse, it’s been literally years since I have binged and instead if I am going to indulge then it will be in small doses to avoid a relasp of what I once had.

This is why fitness is so important because it relieves stress, depression, anxiety and just overall puts you in a better place, another reason not to deprive yourself espeically when you’ve had any eating disorder is because when you eventually give in it can lead to other disorders such as bulimia and anorexia which is something that you have to deal with your whole life, losing weight can be addictive, dangerous and scary because you don’t know how your going to feel when you get to your goal weight, carry on, try lose more or set another goal etc this is the reason why I won’t weigh myself because I have been the person that gets way too addictive.

This year I have dropped nearly two dress sizes and it’s taken around 8/9 months not like when I was younger when it took about 3 or 4 because I haven’t rushed it, I have taken my time and not followed a diet, I have tried out new foods and snacks such as fish, quorn, hummus, nuts and seeds and I have not deprived myself either. I used to have something bad and then think f**k it I’ll eat crap all day rather then just carry on being healthy and say oh I’ll just start again tomorrow, now I’ll eat whatever it is that’s my guilty treat is and carry on, I’ve realised that you can’t always be guilty and feel bad then get upset and angry about it because all that does is lower your mood and make you feel like a failure. Last night I was craving chocolate ehich I haven’t had all week and normally my cheat day is a Saturday, I went to bed early in order to wake up and go for a lone run despite it being my cheat day I love running, running is my life, going for miles and inhaling in nature, it rejuvenated me, made me feel like I was untouchable and free with the world and of course I brought my tripod with my to capture the moment.

So what’s next for me, carry on with my fitness and carry on making it part of my life with my healthy eating, not letting my depression take over me, not going back to old eating habits and looking forward, it’s been a crazy year due to unfortunate circumstances and 2019 I’m ready for you.

For anyone that’s got themselves into a binge eating disorder as I stated above know it can lead to bulimia and anorexia which is so dangerous, I follow these steps when I feel a binge coming from being emotional or having a bad day and yes it can be spurned on by anything, it’s like being stressed and craving a drink or cigarette if you were once a smoker. These things have massively helped me.

  1. Going for a run/walk
  2. Writing in my journal my thoughts/feelings
  3. Making a healthy snack or prepare a meal
  4. Trying on clothes for motivation
  5. Looking up health and fitness images and videos on is instagram
  6. Read a blog/upload new content
  7. Visit family

By the time you have done any of these things you will forget about your binge and feel a whole lot better and obviously if you do want to indulge then do so but carefully.

Career, Choices, College, Education, fitness, Job, Life, motivation, School, stress, Thirty

Not where I wanna be.

When you get to 30 you would think you’d have your life sorted out by now. House, car, career, travelled the world, married etc, I know they say that age is just a number just like when you have kids or get married people say its when your ready which is true, don’t just have a baby or settle down just to fit in with society or because your getting older but with a career and your own personal development I think its different, you want to get somewhere or be someone so when you do get to a certain age then you concentrate on other things such as travelling or settling down.

I’m sure I speak for most people (I hope) when I say I cannot be the only one that is stuck in a rut. Sometimes people do not find their calling intil they are 30 or 40 or even older, I definitely believe that kids have more options and choices now to when I was younger, how were you and still are expected to pick one course at college when you leave school, like out of all the things you could do how do you know that one subject is the one you want unless you try everything.

Ive literally done it all, my first job was a trainee hairdresser which wasn’t for me, then social care in college, again not for me, I then did waitressing for what seemed a life time and then a Business Administration course which led me to office work, which may I just add my experiences from offices is bitchy, drama and people kissing ass to get to the top but I’m hoping that its not all like that (but I think it is) so now that I’m 31 this year I have some decisions to make. Its true what they say, as soon as you turn 30 you stop caring what people think, I remember a time when I used to say to myself “Oh I can’t wear that what will people think” that defo goes out the window, you get older and you stop giving a damn, you start doing what makes you happy and try and work on yourself more. Before I turned 30 I was a mess, worrying and thinking omg what have I achieved, I shouldn’t be were I am now, how embarrassing, but it was a slight exaggeration because I have still achieved alot such as living in London, Essex and West Sussex in my younger days, doing a Marathon, a Skydive and climbing Mount Snowdown, being promoted, moving into my first flat and buying my dream dog Pablo the pug so its not been all that bad.

One thing is for sure once I put my mind to something or have an idea in my head I run with it without weighing up the options first, I don’t list pros and cons, but life’s about taking risks.

So what do I wanna do with my life, honestly I would be happy to never work for anyone again like I’m sure is the entire population, since fitness is the only thing that actually makes me happy I want to get into this, I just wish I knew this when I was 16 and education was free, I want to inspire others, motivate people and make them feel good about themselves, building their confidence, changing their lifestyle through fitness whislt still being able to do it myself, so it may be a case of going back to college, but how does one do that with a full time job that you cannot give up, move back home? Save?

It’s always hard when you have commitments and things get in the way, I think this is the main reasons why so many people in this world are not doing what they love because of money, going back into education, the fear of leaving their comfort zone but in the end we have two choices, stay doing a job that deep down doesn’t make us happy, yeah it pays well but is this what we want to do forever? Or take the leap of faith and risk going back to college, possibly to fit around your job which would mean using savings or trying to save first or even getting another job to pay to be trained on something you know you already do as a hobby, whether that be beauty, hair or fitness, wouldn’t it be great to wake up every morning and love going into work, being excited about going in everyday even on a Monday, well that’s what I want and as I said before when I want something I go out and get it, this is probably the hardest thing though due to the situation but nothing is impossible, I mean look at those people that start over in their 50s.

So on goes the mission to set myself the challenge to find a way into doing what I love, its about research and seeing what my options are, I hope I can at least make progress and so this time next year I can leave the office world behind and I may not be my own boss but any career doing what I love best will be good enough for me.

It would be interesting to know if anyone is actually doing what they wanted to do when they left school or if they have had a career change much later on in life.

change, determinded, diet, exercise, fitness, happy, health, health and fitness, jogging, Legs, motivation, routine, running, stress, strong, workout


In 3 months time you will thank yourself.

Keep going, it takes a few weeks to see results yourself and then a few weeks after that for everyone else to see the results however you will notice the change in your mood and attitude straight away.

I must say the changes I have noticed in me have been:

  • Better sleep
  • Less stressed
  • Happier
  • Positive
  • Energetic
  • Flexible
  • Fitter

If that’s not enough motivation then the end results of dropping those pounds will certainly be a motivation.

determinded, diet, exercise, fitness, happy, health, health and fitness, morning, motivation, routine, running, squats, stress, strong, tuesday, workout

Home workout

So I’ve been attempting to do this after every morning run I do and I am happy to say it’s paying off, 7 pounds lighter, stronger, fitter and that little bit closer to my old fitness freak self. Not only that but I’ve been very stressed and on the verge of a break down for the past month and exercise has been my miracle cure, it’s taken me out of a black hole and slowly helped me with the stress related issues I have been facing l.

Be gone the stress, the bingo wings, the insecurities and the being out of breath when running for the bus or up a flight of stairs, as the saying goes:

” It doesn’t get easier you just get stronger” and I can definitely feel and see some results in myself.

When you see the difference in yourself, pysically and mentally that’s when it gets addictive and it’s there’s worse things to be addicted to.

change, depression, determinded, diet, exercise, happy, health, health and fitness, motivation, stress, strong, work, working

Make that change!

You get to that point in your life where you feel like your going no were and you been doing the same thing over and over again for so many years and you feel like you need something new. In my case it’s work, let’s face it no one really wants to work in a boring office where there’s favourtism, gossips, drama and ass kissing to get to the top or a place where your being asked to be a machine and do your own and everyone else’s job, it can be stressful and have such an impact on your life at work and outside of work which it has been the case for me since last year November.

I’ve always said I will find something new and I will be happier and after being in the same place for a number of years I decided I needed something new but you cant leave a job without another one right? Because that would be stupid especially when one has bills to pay. My plan this year was to start a fresh and find a new job however it doesn’t always work out the way you want. Having been over worked, underappreciated, stressed out to the max the last thing I wanted to do after work is jump on my laptop and job search as well as fit in exercise and look after my pug Pablo.

But then something happened which I wont go into however it was a big change at work which I wasn’t particularly happy about and didn’t really have a say in it whatsoever. Already having personal problems at home and being over worked it was the last thing I needed, we all have those moments in life where things get too much and you crack, I mean where only human after all and especially when you keep pretending everything is okay when it’s not or when you bottle it al in.and continue to smile through it all whislt working like a robot.

So feeling more stressed then ever, I took time out, I needed to rediscover myself and find out what exactly I wanted from life. Change can sometimes be good but when your set in your ways and things are done that you don’t agree or are forced out of your comformt zone it feels like the end of the world. This time last month I was sad, angry, depressed and as I mentioned in my recent posts exercise can help with stress and depression but at the first stages of feeling this way it is the last thing you want to do.

Now a month on I have had the break I needed and realised that everything happens for a reason, good things have to come to an end in order to make room for new things. Just because a change has happened that you didnt like or you didn’t get the job you wanted or the results you were expecting it doesn’t mean it’s the end, you have to tell yourself that something else is round the corner, you can give up and be defeated or you can either try again if you want it that bad or try something new.

In my situation I didn’t want to go back to something I know was bringing me down or be associated with people that were no good for me. So now I am moving on to something bigger and better and cannot blame others for the decisions of messing me around at work or causing me stress, in fact I should be thanking them because now I am happier, I am going to start over and live my life and yes I may not of found my dream job yet but I am the creator of my destiny and you are to.

Having the break made me realise all this and instead of wasting time sulking or feeling sorry for myself I should of picked myself up and moved on, but we live and learn. I also learnt that you shouldn’t bottle things in, if your feeling stressed or going through a depressive state talk to someone because there’s nothing worse then feeling that way and being alone in this world because it makes you feel worse.

I am 31 this year and I don’t want to waste anymore time. Life is to short and I’m sure we all thought we would be some were else by now and we still standing still, this is your opportunity to make that change, don’t wait for the change to find you, don’t wait for something to happen in order to get you butt into gear, just like with exercising or eating healthy, don’t wait for those jeans to get tighter or for you to feel unfit when walking up stairs or running for the bus because you will only feel bad for it and it would be your own fault. Only you can do it, no one can do it for you.

Make that change today and do that thing that you know will make you happy.

determinded, diet, exercise, fitness, happy, health, health and fitness, motivation, relaxation, running, stress, strong

Beat the sickness.

There is nothing worse then being I’ll and trying to stay in shape, it sucks, it means slow progress, motivation lost, aches, pains or cramps means you just want to turn into a couch potato and play a victim but exercise actually helps recover from any cold, flu or stomach cramps as I found over the past few days where I have felt terrible.
Exercise is good when I’ll because it flushes out all that bad bacteria from your lunges and airways and can actually remove your cold/flu whilst also preventing it from coming back again for a while. When you have that dreaded period and suffer from cramps exercise helps remove those painful cramps, headaches and fatigue as well as lift your mood.
Although being a runner in the outdoors when it’s winter can cause the odd cold you get which I blame you can swap your running for a few days if you think its going to make it worse and try indoor home workouts such as skipping, a fitness dvd or fitness youtube channel. As I mentioned in my last post stress can also be a factor when getting I’ll as the body recognises vigorous stress that you go through such as a hard day in the office so I am even more motivated to keep going with running and home workouts, as I have probably already mentioned I am anti gym, I am the one that refuses to pay for working out when I can simply do it myself and being the fact that solo exercising can be perfect way to find yourself, think things over and work your ass off without distraction.
I have never felt better and believe exercising is the reason. Normally whenever I have stomach cramps or any type of nasty cold I feel sorry for myself and as I said I am a couch potato but now I will overcome this and be the person that gets backup and sweats the crap off.
It really is the best and only medicine you will ever need.